You may have heard the phrase “marriage is messy.”
But those of us that have sat in the mud of marriage know that doesn’t even begin to cover it.
It’s the kind of mess that doesn’t go away by simply blasting some music in your headphones and deep cleaning for a day.
It’s that sit on the floor of the shower crying, kind of mess.
It’s that clawing at your chest because you want to know if the ache will ever stop kind of mess.
It’s being so intrinsically connected to another human being’s mess, that sometimes you don’t know where your mess ends and theirs begins.
And that is terrifying.
But, like the moon, marriage has both a shadow side and light side.
Marriage is sharing a life with someone who knows you on an ocean-deep level.
It’s sharing a glance across the room, and realizing that mind-reading actually exists.
It’s always having strong arms to hold you, when you just can’t stay upright any longer.
It’s having someone who knows your stories, your wounds, your traumas, and can regulate your nervous system with a single and silent touch.
It’s committing not just to a person, but to their mess.
But it’s also having someone committed to yours.
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This session was very special to me, because I got to photograph my best friend of 30 years with her partner of nearly 10 years in their own home.
As her best friend, I’ve basically been in the passenger seat for the mess these two have navigated and endured.
And if I’m being honest, there were some moments where I thought they had reached the end of the line.
But they buckled up, held on tight, and put in the work, and got through the thick of it.
And here they are, stronger and more connected than ever.
I want to do MORE of these sessions.
It’s safe you say, if you are in a committed relationship, you’ve been through some SHIT.
Your marriage is worth documenting even after your wedding day, through all it’s beautiful and shadowy phases.
These are the days. The days when your entire life — body and soul — have changed. The days when a tiny, squishy human has made the trip from womb to homestead. You are tired, emotional, a little broken, and starry eyed with wonder. You wonder what was so important in your life before this, because for these first few weeks, THIS is all there is. You are starstruck to meet this person, and didn’t know such a capacity for love existed before meeting them.
